We often assume that children “know better.”
But, sometimes we forget that we are big people and they are little people. Everything that we know comes from our life’s experiences. It comes from seeing another person accomplish something. It comes from watching another person fail. It comes from standing back and learning from the world around us. Everything we see and everything we do has become our understanding of how the world works.
As big people, the world often makes sense to us. We know how to behave in different situations. We know what to expect and we have come to expect specific things in our life.
But, what happens when we do something new? How do we feel?
Think back to the last time you actually had to try something new…something you knew nothing about. The situation that comes to my mind is buying a subway pass in New York City. Coming from a small town, I felt insecure, rushed, and nearly cried. It is important for us to remember this feeling when we assume that children “know better.” Instead of assuming that they “do know better,” let’s change our thinking to assume they don’t. Trust me. It will change your teaching forever.
Let me tell you a story about lunch money.
My son had just started a new school and after the second week, he came home very upset. He mentioned that the “man at the cash register” kept bothering him. He would go through the lunch line, proudly recite his new student number to this man, who would always reply, “Did you bring any money for me?” My child thought it odd that the “man at the cash register” kept bugging him for money. At first, he told me that he thought it was a secret joke the two shared, but he said it seemed like the “man at the cash register” didn’t seem to be joking anymore, but instead seemed to be getting frustrated. This was very disturbing to my son. And very disturbing to me, as I had been sending my son to school with his lunchbox. But, he said when they had something good (like obviously pizza or chicken nuggets), he would just eat the hot lunch and save his lunch for his after school snack at The Boys and Girls Club. Uh-oh.
As a big person, it is obvious what was happening here. The “man at the cash register” was asking my son for his lunch money and my 3rd grader had no clue that the school even charged money for lunch. He just thought it was free and if you didn’t want your peanut butter and jelly sandwich your mom packed, you could just get pizza or chicken nuggets. How, might you ask, could a 3rd grader not know this by now? Hasn’t this child been attending school since Kindergarten?
Starting in Kindergarten, my son attended the same school that I taught at. He had no clue what was happening behind the scenes. On Monday mornings, I would add lunch money to our account and would always receive emails when our shared lunch account was low. At my school, lunch money was handed into the secretary, or paid online, but not paid to the “man at the cash register.” My child never saw the actual exchange of dollars for pizza or chicken nuggets. Also, our school had a strict policy that the “man at the cash register” never asked the children for money, announced their negative balance or punished them for not paying. My child survived Kindergarten, 1st and 2nd grades having no clue that there was even a system for paying for school lunch. You just give the “man at the cash register” your magic number and ka-bam, pizza for days.
Instead of assuming that children know something, it is our role as teachers to actually teach them.
Let’s expose them to the world around us. Let’s introduce them to new situations and carefully guide them through this very complex society we live in. May I remind you to be patient, kind and forgiving as we help our little people understand our big people ways? Even if it is something simple like lunch money!
