“You want to know the secret to a good conference? Just be a good listener and trust yourself, because you actually know your kids.” -Karl
It is Parent Teacher Conference Time and every teacher I know is frantic! We are all putting together our students’ assessment reports, designing covers to portfolios and prepping to make our “Wishing Well” to hang in the hallway to request more tissues, Lysol wipes and Ticonderoga pencils from our parents. We have checklist after checklist, assessment after assessment ready to share with our students’ parents. Parent Teacher Conference Week is the equivalent to Hell Week for Navy Seals. It feels like we are thrown into the ocean, expected to swim to the nearest island (12 miles away) in shark infested waters, fueled only by caffeine and a chocolate bar we somehow found in the back of our desk.
Every teacher I know, regardless of how many years they’ve been at it, seems to be suffer through Hell Week. Except my friend Karl.
Instead of prepping portfolios, creating checklists or organizing files, Karl simply spends a few minutes reflecting upon his thoughts and goals for every child in his class. Karl reflectively sips his coffee in the Teacher’s Lounge and takes a few notes regarding the strengths and needs for the children in his class. Meanwhile, every other teacher I know is trying to stay afloat, not be eaten by sharks or drown altogether.
But not Karl. He is just planning a few highlights he hopes to share with each family. And once his conferences start, they look nothing like what I’ve ever done. Never ever. Ever.
Instead of starting the conference with the usual, “According to our standardized test scores….” or “Based on DIBELS…” or ” Using the unit assessment for…” Karl just asks his parents, “How are things going for you? Anything I can do to help support you and your child?”
Instead of spending a rushed 20 minutes discussing the assessment scores and academic performance of their children, Karl lets the parents guide the conference. He asks them, “What goals do you have for your child?” or “What is something we can work on together to help your child grow this year?” Karl shares some simple observations and a few test scores to help formulate goals, but the focus is never just about test scores. Karl’s focus is on the little person behind those scores. Karl practices intentionally listening to the parent’s concerns and then partners with them to develop goals for their child. That is it. Nothing more, nothing less. When the parents leave the conference, Karl sends them home with their child’s data for them to review at home and follow-up with him if they have any questions or concerns. He trusts that families can read the data and make sense of it on their own. But, he is there if they need support in doing so. He just doesn’t take up the precious 20 minutes of the Conference Time to do so.
When Karl told me about his conferencing philosophy, it seemed too good to be true. And, honestly, it felt as though he must be breaking some rules. Aren’t conferences supposed to be all about the data? How would parents feel if they didn’t get an entire portfolio and print-out of the year’s assessment data (and last year’s assessment data for comparison) and examples of their child’s work? How would a parent feel if I just let them lead the conference? How would a parent feel if we simply discussed what was most important to their child?
What if instead of spending 12 minutes talking about their child’s math performance, they actually had a chance to discuss their child’s struggles on the playground? Or instead of reviewing the scores of the last 5 spelling tests, parents actually had a chance to talk about their child’s interest in art? As a teacher, this approach feels oh-so-wrong…but as a parent, it feels oh-so-right.
Karl has me convinced. So, this year I’m going to do Hell Week a little different. I’m joining him in going against the norm. I’m joining him for some hot coffee and quiet reflection in the Teacher’s Lounge. My conferences this year will look a little different than they ever have. I’m placing my focus on the whole child and the parent’s goals for their own child. Now that I know better, I can be better. I owe it all to Karl.
I challenge you to re-think your own Parent Teacher Conferences. Is there a small change you can make that might have a big impact on your children or families during upcoming Hell Week?
Check out my TPT Store to download a free copy of the form I’m using this year!
