Research says…
When we feel connected to others and we have the opportunity to share about our own lives, we tend to be more positive in our lives and our work, in general. We feel more valued, loved and understood. When someone asks me about my life, my family, my hobbies, it feels like they really care about me. It feels like they are invested in me personally. This goes beyond saying, “How are you doing?” As a leader, this is important because there will be times when you have to have difficult conversations with your staff members, but if they feel like you “know” them, they are more likely to trust your guidance.
Some people we connect with better than others.
Have you ever asked yourself why? Well, I have certainly asked myself why and what I have discovered is that these people are more like me. It feels like they belong in my tribe. Our tribe. We have things in common, conversation comes naturally and we easily find ourselves lost in our connections with one another. We all want to be noticed.
But, I have certainly ran across those individuals who are “unconnectable.” When I really try to understand why I haven’t made a genuine connection with someone, it is always because I haven’t put forth the effort. As an instructional leader, this is where I have to be truly intentional with my actions and put forth specific efforts to connect to those teachers I lead, but who don’t naturally fit into my tribe.
Strategies for Instructional Leaders:
As an instructional coach, I began to explore different strategies to help me intentionally connect with all teachers. I hope you find my strategies useful as you continue to improve the relationships and connections you make with your steps.
Give these a try! I’d love to hear your ideas too, so be sure to contact us and share some of your favorites too!
- Ask about family pets. People can naturally and easily talk about the fur-babies in their lives.
- Comment on their clothing, shoes, day planner, car make & model, new iphone watch…Anything you notice to help start up a conversation can be helpful, without being prying.
- Catch them in the Teacher’s Lounge to discover their favorite foods and spark up a conversation about recipes, cooking, restaurants, etc.
- Keep a journal of interesting facts about your staff. When you make a break-through, jot it down so you have a conversation starting-point next time. When they share information about a family member or situation that is challenging, jot it down in your journal, and be sure to revisit with them at a later date.
- Don’t always talk about business as usual. Chances are most of your conversations with teachers are about the children in the class, the challenges they face, the most recent data or the instructional strategies they are working to improve. Sure you will have a TON of these conversations, but be intentional to let them talk about themselves.
- Intentionally provide relationship-building activities at staff meetings and staff gatherings. If you are looking for some ready-to-go “Who Am I?” team-building activities, check out what I have already created for you.
